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Sunday, July 17, 2005

it's hot as hell, but it feels like heaven

I feel like walking through the streets naked.

The temperature has risen at full force and the sun is making love to my skin again. It's so hot there's often little room for clothing or modesty. I wear the shortest skirts I can get my hands on, often forget a bra altogether and am sometimes forced to hike my shirt up to expose a sweating stomach.

Although my troubled mind still has its episodes, I'm often struck by how good I feel these days.

It's the sun, the food, the people, the culture and the ease of summer days. After spending entire days in the kitchen for the writing workshop, the days are long and stretch ahead like the flowing landscape.

This morning we went to a market in a neighbouring village for fresh produce. Vendors yelled in French, and the small streets were filled to the brim with tourists and locals. We filled our basket with peaches, nectarines, and apricots I devour as if they're filled with MSG, one after another. Their flavour is out of this world.

And that's often how I've felt lately: out of this world. I feel as if I'm floating around in some sub-reality. And everytime I start to take something too seriously, I realize it's all just a dream anyways. I've got to live this summer like the dream it is, to love and taste every moment, every apricot, every kiss from a tall dark Frenchman.

Later today I wrote a song in French. It is a love song, but sweet and subtle, about being taught how to wake up, touch, dream, and feel. It's called 'Tu Ma Appris': You Taught Me.

And even though I can't sing, I love to hear my voice take on this language with such passion. And even though I drink too much, swear too much, can't control my outbursts and wear my skirts far too short, these days I'm so happy with myself that my jaw aches from smiling.

My dreams and aspirations are bursting at the seams, I want so much, and am allowing myself to dream as big as the Eiffel Tower. I want to write, cook, travel, love and be loved. There are still so many flavours and exotic spices yet to touch my tongue. I want to find happiness and hold on hard. I want the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

But I'm also living in the moment and savouring summer. These are the days you want to bottle up and smuggle home with you.

our house
night song


Blogger Jimmy Jangles said...

G, that super foxy photo of you in the pink top that's really wide is screwing with the format of your otherwise wonderful blog.....


9:21 PM  
Blogger Gillian Young said...

Thanks Jimmy, I'm on it.

11:30 PM  

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