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Sunday, November 06, 2005

a moment in time

Someday I'll find myself settled, remembering the year I lived in Paris.

Someday I'll look back on the days where everything was in the air and I walked blindly down streets with no destination.

I'll remember the Seine on Sunday.

I'll remember the moment when two small children stopped being rude to me and started clinging to me with smiles on their faces.

I'll remember the weekends when my friend and I climbed on and off metros in search of a good bar, where I always managed to slip, fall, scream or laugh too loudly by Parisian standards.

I'll remember staring at people in cafes and restaurants, but feeling too alone or too broke to sit down myself.

I'll remember my small apartment, where I blasted my music and danced around the limited space, just to remind myself I was alive at the end of each day.

I'll remember a 12-year-old Turkish girl who wanted to be my best friend the moment she first saw me, leaning on a railing amongst crowds of tourists at the Sacre Coeur.

I'll remember the women of the 16th arrondissement, and wondering if I could ever be so prim and proper, as I gaze in admiration in my t-shirt and jeans.

I'll remember the moment when it stopped being a dream and started being my reality.

I'll remember the moment when I finally accepted that reality.

It's all happening now. I don't know where I'm going after this. All I know is soon I'll be looking back, and I don't want to take anything for granted. I'm going to inhale this air as deeply as I can, even if some days it makes me choke. I want to leave knowing I was really here.

lafayette rooftop

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