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Friday, March 18, 2005

waves on the pacific

In Vancouver it's a minutes walk to the vastness of the ocean. To a moment of sanity and serenity, where all madness can be tamed.

I've walked around with a stick up my ass for so long, claiming I don't miss Vancouver. And I haven't really. But as I've been physically weak, I realize there is still a part of my body that craves it's comfort.

The comfort of my kithen. Of my family preparing meals; allowing me to experiment in the kitchen as spices fly through the air. My brother walking the sea wall with me and forcing me to make sense and speak more eloquently. Grocery shopping with my mom; having the opportunity to be naive and not obsess over produce prices. The ocean.

I've told more to the ocean than any breathing being. It doesn't judge me. It is the only permanence I know.

The city isn't kind to the sick, sad, or lonely. It is obtrusive, and the cement streets scream back. Men always feel the need to ask me why I'm not smiling. "Because I have thoughts in my head, okay?"

I still love it. But when my health feels fragile, so do I. And my heart began to ache when I remembered all of this:

oh vancouver
mom and dad

Hawaiin Feast at Bev's, originally uploaded by Barbara Y.

shadow walking


Blogger Just Another Dick said...

Yup, I miss the Vancouver.

BUT, I just recently had the most uplifting day of all time. Walking arround downtown Ottawa with the sun shinning high above head. That day was the first day I saw the ultimate beauty it was hiding from me all along. With the cold weather and early nightfall all I have felt so far was a blackening in my heart. But now I see that God has put beauty all over, sometimes you just have to squint reallllllly hard to notice it.

2:10 AM  

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