thirsty for wisdom

I want to live my dreams.

But right now my dreams are shady; lets just say I toss and turn all night.

I practically have a new dream everyday. I was convinced I needed to become a dancer until I attempted lessons. I decided I was to be a TV personality until I had a camera shoved in front of my face for MuchMusic and CTV. I realized it made me fidgety and uncomfortable. I thought I should work in fashion until I started working in the business part time.

Today I want to write a novel. A groundbreaking novel. Me in a novel.

Or maybe start some kind of social revolution.

I want to somehow make people happier, more honest, less afraid of taboos; proud of their imperfections.

I want to make pornography more acceptable and less of a shady business. The word 'sensual' not 'dodgy' should come to mind. Kids should be left out with rape theme videos.

I'd like to help the media take down their guards and tell the truth about what's going. Instead of spitting out a story in generic code, I wish we could write it as it is.

I wish I was stronger. I want to leave this world knowing I actually lived.

My mind is spinning and I've made myself dizzy.

I'm afraid if I don't dream big I'll die small.