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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

close the door behind you

I'm getting used to saying goodbye, it's become as natural as changing my underwear.

My stay in Vancouver has been quick and overwhelming. A day didn't pass by without several planned engagements. I saw who I could, attented my cousin's week-long wedding, made feasts, organized parties, helped cater for 85 people at the home of a famous Vancouver writer, ate some good sushi and squeezed in a few days at the beach.

I haven't had the energy to write, my mind so jumbled with thoughts that my hand has refused to pick up a pen and paper.

August is a transition time, and I'm at a transition age. A couple of months and I'll be 20.

I've been thinking a lot about happiness, careers, stamina, control, family and education.

I've been feeling like life is a test. Can you indulge without falling into gluttony? Feel beautiful without becoming vain? Drink without getting drunk? Be strong when your heart is week? Become prosperous without becoming greedy?

I'm slowly learning what I'm capable of and what I want. Most of the answers will unfold themselves through time.

In a few hours I leave for the airport. A different city and lifestyle await me.

And so I'll leave the Pacific ocean once more, en route to making something of myself.

vancouver girls
alexi back from greece
alexi and i
aimee and i
jen,me and natty


Anonymous T said...

Where are you going to school?

7:47 PM  
Blogger Lacey said...

I just wanted to drop a note and say I enjoy your blog and honest words!! Have a great time living on the east side!!


8:52 AM  
Anonymous Marisa said...

I too am turning twenty in a few months and am trying to figure out what I want out of life in terms of careers, friends, family, and so forth in order to be happy. It's a strange transition time we're in.
You said "I'm slowly learning what I'm capable of and what I want." After a year of being on another continent and taking care of two children, you should know that you're capable of just about anything. So now it's just figuring out what you want. Good luck, and I hope you enjoy Toronto.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Haley said...

Leaving is tough..
I haven't been keeping up. Are you going to school in T.O again?


6:41 PM  

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