the day you set me free
"You haven't given me any of your baggage, you've done the opposite, you've taught me the importance of freedom," I tell her.
I called my mother up last night to tell her how much I loved her, "I was going to write you something, but I had to say it..."
As soon as I began to speak I remembered why I usually write the way I feel. Tears fell from my eyes and my words got stuck in my throat.
Somehow, between awkward sobs, I told her how I felt. I told her about how working with women all day has given me even more respect for her. All day I listen to women put themselves down and complain about their bodies no matter how beautiful they are. While my mother complains occasionally about needing to go to the hairdresser, she is always glowing, growing more beautiful with age, and accepting herself as she is. She has taught me how to stay strong as a woman, to write in my journal, and let out all my anguish in writing and a hot bath.
I told her about how she taught me the beauty of adventure. About how I'd been thinking about the summer we drove to California in a van with no air conditioning, rode along the sand dunes, slept in RV camps and stopped every five minutes for water. My mother has been taking me on adventures with her since I could walk, and I've learnt that all it takes is an open mind and a good budget to make it happen.
She taught me to trust her instinct as a young girl, and was always very careful with me. If she wasn't comfortable with letting me go somewhere, she wouldn't let me go. But she would explain why, until resentfully, I understood. One summer in France she started to let me drink wine, go out late at night and do what I wanted. Nothing was said, but I knew she had let me go. She saw that I had become a woman, and knew I could trust my own instinct.
Now I know that I can go anywhere in this world, in this life, and I'll always have her love. She has set down the path, but has made it clear that where I choose to go is my decision.
Happy Mother's Day Maman.