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Monday, March 17, 2008

each time i think i've had enough

Heading home, I run up the subway stairs with a sense of well-being.

I'm exhausted, running off very little sleep, and my heels make the stairs an extra effort. But mentally, as I go over the day, a good feeling washes over me.

I could barely get myself out of bed this morning, but crawled out of my sheets and watched my boyfriend crawl deeper into his side of the bed. When I came out of the shower he was listening to my motown music, dedicating Let's Stay Together to me.

I grabbed my tea and jumped on the subway to make it to my 9 a.m. class. In my tutorial I hear my voice speaking up. I ask questions, make comments, and force my brain to wake up and contribute.

When class is over I walk on a sun-lit sidewalk to the nearest coffee shop, where I fuel up and finish reading my psychology textbook. I think of my room mate, editor for the school's annual review that comes out this Friday, and decide she needs some coffee too. I find her at school going through another stressful day, all responsibility on her shoulders, and she's grateful for the morning perk.

I spend the next eight hours of my day in the editing suites, working with my group on an interview we filmed for our TV techniques class. It's long, but the process is painless. I love the people I'm working with, and every day I appreciate the new friendships I'm making more. There's a common vision, a sense of teamwork and understanding. We make up for the work by laughing foolishly, stalking up on snacks and making our final piece as creative as possible.

Before heading home I spend an hour in the library studying, then jump back on the subway, and head home to the two beautiful girls I share my apartment and my life with.

I talk to my boyfriend on the phone, and we go over our business plans for Hidden Lounge (updates to come), before saying goodnight. "Is there anything else?" He asks. I tell him he's great. "Well if I'm great, you're amazing."

And even though I'm running on empty and my head is running wild with things to do, I feel young, alive, loved, and excited to wake up tomorrow and do it all again.

toronto streets

“Now there is time and time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!”
-May Sarton


Blogger Sky said...

i love this poem you quote. i did a blog of the entire poem a couple of years ago. i miss her immensely. (she died in july, 1995.) we corresponded during the last 10 years of her life, and it was always such joy to find a note in my mailbox from her.

i am glad you are enjoying your life so much. it is wonderful to be young and filled with joy and energy. :) i feel similarly but without the energy of your youth!

11:57 PM  
Blogger la femme said...

I love that we walk down the same streets while rushing in to campus in the morning :)

Btw, with regard to wearing heels in that snow- I'm impressed.

11:12 PM  

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