he tastes like beer; i crave liquor

A couple of times this week I found myself intoxicated on a dance floor, pressed into other sweating bodies, alcohol oozing out of every pore. The smell of cologne and beer weave through the air as bodies pump with the sound system.

The men all smile with liquid confidence as they attempt to find a bed partner.

Some stare at me with big eyes as I order another shot of Jack Daniels. I'm as aggressive as they are, only I get bored more easily. I pull one in, make him dance with me, then walk away as soon as things get too comfortable.

I dance alone and move away as another hungry face moves in.

I start to think I have relationship issues until I find myself cozy in the arms of a stranger. It could have been that he was going back to America in under two days, or maybe it was the liquor, but for the moment he fit. When he called the next night moaning about not seeing me before he left, I yawned and said I needed to sleep.

I have relationship ADD. I'm never interested unless things are confusing and beyond my control. It drives me up the wall, knowing that I may never be happy with someone. Baby, I just can't get no satisfaction.

My mind sits in between seriousness and deliriousness these days. I float, I smile, and I stare down willing victims.

I dream nomadic dreams, and plan on packing lightly. This goes for emotional baggage as well. Many knots from my past have been untangling themselves lately, and everyday I feel more free.

I have no idea where I'm going in the long run, but it's a big open road from here, and I'm not taking any passengers.