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Friday, February 06, 2009

walk softly

I had an English teacher who asked the class "Do you ever wish you could go completely unnoticed?"

I was the only one to raise my hand. "Yeah, me too," she said.

The past month has been good for me. Coming back here and starting from scratch, moving in with a loving stranger, learning to spend less money, bundle up for cold weather, and walk around this city with a scarf wrapped around my face has put my heart and mind in the right place.

People I haven't seen in months keep coming back into my life, and have been so loving and heartwarming towards me that I feel I must have done something right in the past few years.

With my school life coming to an end I am nostalgic of my time here. It has been an adventure, a twist and turn of friendships, of partying hard, of catering events and retail jobs, of lugging around film equipment, radio equipment, or a notepad in my hand. And now my four years of journalism are coming to an end. One more major project, a few classes to get through, and then a hat and a robe, and that highly coveted degree. Wherever my life takes me I won't regret this time.

But it's not over yet, I'm still plotting my documentary, writing essays, and walking to class in all kinds of weather. I've gotten used to wearing double. Double pants, double socks, double sweatshirts, a toque and a hood.

I'm still getting back to myself, remembering how much I love to explore this city, how important it is to spend days walking and exploring markets and food stores. I feel at home in my favourite Korean grocery store, or buying bulk gourmet goods at St.Lawrence.

I'm enjoying this time. I'm trying to live mindfully, to listen to people when they talk to me, to be honest with myself and others, to taste my food, and to welcome the cold air outside on my face.

I have no urge to speak to loudly, to make a statement or be noticed by strangers.

I am walking softly and taking in all I can.

winter has come


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