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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

she's baaack

Yesterday morning I set out, dragging my luggage on a brisk Toronto day. My hands freezing over as they poked out of my jacket to grasp my bags. One plane ride, one happy mother, two cheeky brothers, one stop at Whole Foods, two vodkas and a home cooked meal later, I was home.

On our way home from the airport we stopped at the new Whole Foods. The fact that I could throw any desired food into the cart had me walking around blankly. And playing around with my brothers, 22 and 26, who will always act like older brothers around me. Tricks and teases just ooze once I arrive. I love it. I spied on other shoppers and truly felt I was in West Vancouver. Women trying to look younger than they are, a fresh botox smile, counting calories and carbs on loafs on bread.

It is strange to be here.

Wonderful to be able to sit down with my family, to eat and laugh. To hold my mom's hand and feel the familiar warmth. To have her smile every time she looks at me, congradulating me on the small things I've accomplished.

My room doesn't really feel like my room. Taken over by my cousin, it now has her personality, not mine. But for now, it is hers, and I don't mind. I enjoy pretending I'm on vacation on my new big bed, bought from a set sale for the TV series 'The Days' (which I've never heard of).

My dad says the house isn't the same without my energy. It must be hard living without an obnoxious teenager running around at high volume. One who has no control over her singing, dancing, and horrible sense of humour. I would miss me too.

I've got my schedule planned already. Going to be very busy, and keep having to remind myself that it's not work I have planned. That I am on vacation, all my plans are meant to be fun. And they will be.

It is a dark morning. Probably raining. Vancouver's beauty is often taken away from by winter dreary darkness. I have yet to see it in the light and be reminded of what I was missing. A completely different beauty than Toronto.

In all Toronto's ugliness I often find it amazing. The CN tower looming over the city. The buildings catching the light in just the right way. It's a dirty city that can be a little scummy, but in the right light it's stunning.

But I'm sure the Pacific Ocean will have me seduced in no time.

Lock your liquor cabinets; hide your sons; I'm home.


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