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Saturday, December 04, 2004

when did passion go out of fashion?

passion: a) ardent affection : LOVE b) a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c) sexual desire d) an object of desire or deep interest

Red passion

Sitting with my discman and my last cigar I reminisced on passion. Strong vocals and the bittersweet taste of flavored tobacco entering my system. Memories playing out like an overdone music video.

In my day to day life I feel dry of passion.

I'm stuck on France right now. The men and women with more than sex appeal: lust appeal. Passionate about all the things that really matter. Three course meals and an open mind. Late night dancing and romancing. Tradition; a kiss on each cheek; compliments; true appreciation of being a woman.

So I went out and danced. I danced until it hurt. Turned the room into a blur and danced with myself. Turned down every guy that asked to dance with me.

That's another thing holding me back from passion. I've been unable to feel seduced by any man.

Every time a guy came on to me it was more of a personal joke with myself, I laughed, shook my head, and kept dancing.

Maybe it's that dancing with a man I'm not attracted to, liquor on his breath, and his hand on my ass, is only an illusion of passion. Maybe it's that I was sober enough to notice.

Or maybe it was the girl dry humping a guy on the dance floor looking more desperate than sexy.

Sometimes it seems cheesy pick up lines and a push up bra have replaced passion. Three beers and a one night stand. A rich husband and a new washing machine. A Range Rover and a toned body.

Is is just me? Am I too stuck within myself to see it?

Or has passion gone out of fashion in North America and been replaced with an idea of happiness and a list of luxury items?

Or is it just me? Looking away from anyone that stares at me for too long.

Because passion isn't a trend. It runs through every part of your body and makes you do things that seem impossible. It awakens desire. Pushes you. No, it could not go out of fashion.

But I'm not feeling it. Wether it's within myself or my world around me.

I guess I should find it in myself before I expect to see it everywhere else.


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