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Friday, December 24, 2004

what to tell you

Last night I stumbled out of a club with the side of a gingerbread house in my hand. It was part of a display and I was so damn hungry I was happy to eat it. One of the bouncers asked me "Where'd you get that?"

"I brought it with me."


"Yes..I made it myself."

Then I skipped off with a big smile and a mouth full of gingerbread. One homeless man rapped a reggae tune for me and I danced on the spot.

The joys of a night out on the town with the girls. For my friend's birthday we wined, dined, and then hit up a club downtown to sweat our sins away. I fell in love with a beautiful stranger; a man that could actually dance. A young man who seemed to be fascinated by every aspect of me. Adoration is a sweet thing; a smile lingered on my face all night.

The last week here has been full to the brim of love and indulgence. Good food; great people; memories in the making.

I can be a bit of a scrooge at Christmas in thinking gift giving isn't necessary. But I've seen the light. It started with a cheeky pair of underwear from Shirin. Then it was a package of cookies and a CD from my room mate in the mail. Then a wonderful thoughtful gift from the beautiful Marlene. The gifts made me feel all warm inside. They made me feel like my very being was appreciated.

It's good to be home. It was good to drive to Seattle with my mother on a bright sunshiney day, "It's a great day to be alive!" blasting from my country CD. To take two days just for us. To buy some new make up. To coo over $500 shoes at Nordstrom. To talk over dinner layed out on our hotel room floor.

January third I'll return to Toronto with a pot belly of Christmas baking (I can't get enough), and a sense of satisfaction. Of knowing that I still have a home I can come back to, where love runs as vast and deep as the Pacific Ocean.

What to tell you? I love you. All of you. It is Christmas and I am full of love.


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