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Thursday, January 06, 2005

she gives me fever

Warm drops of water hit my sore back and relieved me of my pain. It was as if I was taking a shower for the first time. After lying in bed with a fever all day, the relief of a shower was a beautiful thing.

Sometimes it takes feeling like shit to appreciate the simple things. A clear head; a normal temperature; a hot shower.

I hope this is the end of my sick days. I've had enough of kleenexes piled up on my floor. I miss my high energy and need to get things done.

Even through sickness I feel rather in love with the world. I love the snow flying past my window. A young man flying past me in a grocery cart in the aisle of a grocery store while I search for oatmeal. Everything about music. The loving nature of people on my floor at residence. My room mate catering to me while I lie half dead in bed.

I ache for love and yet find the ability to ache for it beautiful within itself. A stranger reminded me that I'm still able to look into a man's eyes and feel something. That not all kisses need to feel forced and only a prelude to something more. I never saw him after that one night, but the memory lingers. It lingers in my mind and runs through my body. It gives me hope. Every time I would kiss him he would look at me, shake his head in disbelief, and give me a new compliment. I could do no wrong. Even my hands were beautiful.

I guess anything can be see as beautiful when seen through the right eyes.


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