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Friday, October 27, 2006

single, f, blonde, 20 yrs old; not a romantic

I guess I lied a little in my description:

'I'm not a romantic at heart. But as a true sensualist I love good food, good music, good conversation and good times. I'm looking for someone artistic and compelling, easy to talk to and passionate about life.'

I am a bit of a romantic, and yet, as a complicated female, I don't always like the romantic type. I don't want a guy who shows up at our first date with flowers, writes me a poem or tries to hold my hand while we're walking down the street. This kind of swooning, with the wrong man, makes me want to projectile vomit like the little girl in Poltergeist. (A good party trick for Halloween.)

I woke up one groggy morning two days ago, looking far from beautiful, and joined lavalife. Lavalife is a singles network, where you can sign up for free, create a profile, and flirt back and forth with other members by sending messages and smiles.

I know a lot of people who have gotten lucky with this website. I mean literally, they got lucky. They found someone attractive, met them for drinks, took them for home and made the headboard of their bead bash against the wall in such a way that even a neighbour couldn't complain without blushing.

Tired of complaining about my own love life, and tired of how complicated the mating game is in this country, I thought I might as well jump in head first.

After posting a head shot, stating I was slim, non-religious, drank often and smoked occasionally, I added a short write-up, and had a few responses within minutes.

Sunny Sunshine wrote: 'sup .. hope ya day is going well! :) peep my profile and let me know if u wanna chat .. can add me on msn at ... toodles! ... xox'

His picture revealed a man hiding behind bamboo sticks in a fedora. Attractive, yes, but I question whether he's hiding more than half of his face on purpose.

On closer inspection of his profile, I decide I'm definitely not interested. Although I guess I already knew that when he used the word 'toodles'.

'I can be whatever you want me to be ... im a human and im mysterious ... im your reflection ... if you shed goodness ... i will absorb light ... if you shed badness ... i will be lost in the dark ... '

The rant goes on, but I'll spare you the embarassment.

I now have 58 messages in my inbox, mostly from men with names like: 'MRLATINO', 'BRINGINSEXYBACK', 'IM_UR_MAN'. And 102 'smiles', a flirting mechanism, waiting for my response.

It's hard. I either cringe at profile write-ups or photographs. But in all honesty, a guy who's 50 years old with grey hair, or 22 years old with a goatee and a photo up of his abs, is not up my alley.

I don't fall for someone easily, and it's usually a certain style or manner that sweeps me away. Unfortunately, this is hard to observe through online profiles.

If nothing else, this may give me the extra push to pursue the right guy in the flesh, because he's obviously pretty hard to find.

martini maven


Anonymous Nico said...

I guess, we all tried facebook/friendster/etc before, and even though they're not geared solely towards dating, I have yet to really meet someone in person from online communities.

We should just all go into the great outside.

If only I wasn't chained to my chair writing this paper right now ... :-/

8:57 AM  
Blogger Yvonne said...


Kate has written a short book titled "The Practical Romantic" about internet dating. I read it cover to cover and wrote a short review. It's well worth a read: informative and of course - written by Kate - intelligent with a humourous edge. It's 4.95 (at Kate's insistence) - download at Vidaville Village Store.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel you girl.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Zohreh said...

A few years ago (before meeting my lovely husband, of course), I also tried the lavalife game, but, on a bet with a friend, was required to go on 5 dates before I could give up entirely. I picked the most normal, interesting-sounding people, with relatively good photos I could, and this is what luck gave me:

1. A 'nice' boring guy who worked for a coffee company as a merchant. He liked to renovate cars and his father was a famous candian artist. It ended when he told me he couldn't imagine why anyone would ever want to leave Alberta. Ever. For any reason. Including travel.

2. A crazy chinese 'law student' who claimed to be 22 but who looked 35, had his own gorgeous loft, kept a giant bottle of massage oil next to his bed, left his apartment filled with lit candles when he went on a date to meet me, had a $2000 italian designer ironing board to hang on his wall though he 'never' does his own laundry, gave me a tour of his multiple-head shower and living room electronics, and asked to take nude photos of me on the first date. To top this off he admitted to seeing a shrink on a regular basis and to always using a false name until he knows you're not a killer from the maffia out to get him or his family.

3. A 20-year-old white guy who quit school at 16 to become a buddhist monk. Also a vegan. Gave me many many pamphlets.

4. Another 20-year-old white guy, rode a motorcycle, we went painting for our first date, he asked me if my 14 year old sister was into threesomes.

5. A gorgeous philipino guy who I definitely got along with. Unfortunately, he also got along well with his girlfriend and her best friend.

The moral of this story is: You may not find eternal love on the internet, but you'll definitely get good stories to tell at dinner parties. You may also get: free dinners, gifts, and rides in fancy cars.


12:36 PM  
Blogger miss tango in her eyes said...

Well at least it will give you some interesting material to write about, and amuse with!

2:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honestly, Gill, I'd think you'd be batting away men with a rolled up newspaper!

I suppose finding any kind of magical relationship is more like waiting for butterflies to land than chasing after them with a net.

In any event, your charming blog journal continues to entertain even without Paris as a backdrop. I do miss the photos of those historical scenes though.

3:50 PM  
Blogger eurobrat said...

My mother met her long term partner on a [gay] lavalife-like site...

You'll find your guy.

It does seem to be incomprehensibly difficult though.

Sometimes I reminisce about the simplicity of the Ancient Spartan custom where single men were put in a darkened room with single women, and the first person of the opposite sex they came into contact with became their partner.

But actually, I prefer lavalife :)

10:56 PM  
Blogger Young Miss Williams said...

Well good luck anyway girlie! Ps I think your blog makes a good read :)

7:17 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

I tried it just recently, met some freaks, met a really wonderful guy who I dated for about 6 weeks, then realised I wasn't ready for dating. I have no doubt I'll try it once again. You just never know, and remember, you miss 100% of shots you don't take.

And yes, let's be honest, it makes good blog fodder ;-)

11:33 PM  

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