self pity is anything but pretty

Walking down the street I'm weighed down by my own body. A young man passes and tells me I'd be more beautiful if I smiled. I keep walking and think he'd be more beautiful if he fucked off and let me be upset.

I don't even know how to smile when I talk to people. It's just my mood.

I want so much right now it makes me cry. I have this insane urge to be frighteningly good at everything. The reality life shows me I'm not and I spit back in it's face.

I want the world to be madly in love with me. Funny that even if it was I'd wind up overwhelmed and upset by it.

I may be in a great mood tomorrow.

I just feel so ugly right now.




My mood
Sings like a bad love song
And my self pity
Is anything but pretty
Washing the dishes
Soapy tear
Fake soap opera smile
Should anyone appear
My necklace breaks
It falls to the floor
My face is fake
And I’m really just a whore
Whoring my face
And feeding it to life
Sitting on a cushion;
Screaming of pain and strife
I’ll clean your shoes
If you show up at my door
If you sing me the blues
And show me something more
Beautiful stranger
Looks back at me
I hide my face
Afraid of what he’ll see
A girl in women's clothing
Wallowing in self pity
Dressed head to toe in loathing
Anything but pretty