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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

colour my world beautiful

Life is too short to be bored. But what do you do when the most inspiring part of your day is the morning light? An orange glow that paints the building across the street? This orange glow is my light. Minutes later the construction starts. This is around 7 or 8 in the morning. Some may need an alarm clock; not me. I have the pleasure of heavy knocking and drilling. My groggy cursing doesn't seem to help.

The weather is damp and cold, sinking through my mind and penetrating my heart. I am aching. I called home admitting I was homesick. This was a big move: I hate showing weakness..and I hate phone bills. Even though it was worth it.

I'm afraid of the weather here. Soon it will snow. This snow will continue until April. It could be -45 degrees with wind chill. I still need a winter jacket.

But as Torontonians are used to the big chill, they have come prepared. I have discovered I can make it to all of my classes indoors, only going outside to get to the building 5 seconds away from residence. This is due to overpasses that connect the buildings. I had fun getting lost and trying to find them all. I'm also told that you can get almost anywhere in the city walking underground. I have yet to try this out.

What do you do when the grey in the sky seems to colour your world? I am eating three sturdy meals a day, but even the food doesn't taste that good. It's not that it's lacking in flavor, it's just the realization that it can't fill the void. No matter how much sugar is packed into the cafeteria cookies, they aren't making my life any sweeter.

So I've got to colour my world beautiful. Whatever it takes I need to throw myself out there and find what makes my heart beat. Feeling sorry for myself only digs me deeper. Sometimes the little girl in me wishes it was simpler. Just follow the yellow brick road to a world of colour.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I keep forgetting that commenting is an option, but I want you to know how moved I am by your naked confessions. I applaud your courage and admire your writing. Wenda

10:44 PM  

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