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Saturday, January 22, 2005

you're acting a little cold

The usually uber stylish Torontonians have turned into a mass of bundled up faces, only the eyes left peeping out.

As I walk the streets with a large eskimo hood pulled over my head I feel as if I'm in an arctic film. Something with a name like 'Lost in Alaska' or 'The Big Chill'. Snow lifts and swirls at my feet as I take careful steps. Suddenly it blows up in my face as I tug my hood down with a gloved hand. An even stronger gush comes and I practically lose my balance.

I am still a little off emotionally. Talking and writing about the pains I'm feeling have helped. The biggest problem seems to be that I want to be everything at once. To exceed at everything and to make an impression. I am burning with so much drive that I've gone into overdrive.

I fear I may never be good enough for myself.

Keeping close keeps us warm at work.
My screened window was left a crack open and I came home to snow inside my room!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am relieved to hear you have an Eskimo hood. Once, your mother and I met up in Toronto in mid-winter and she had this long grey shell that looked like a coat, but was more of a long blazer/cardigan hybrid. I thought she's freeze, but she had a cigarette and red wine and she was fine...pretty much like always.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling blue. I hope something funny happens today. Something that will give you a big belly laugh. XO, Kate

10:59 PM  

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